No choice
by mgsab123
Summary: The only thing she was certain of was that she was a monster, unnatural, unwanted. She was chosen to have this “honor” before she was even born. She had no choice. Read the story and find out more!
1. Life

**Disclaimer:** i don't own Naruto

This is my first story, tell me how you like it. I will be updating it slowly though so be patient, please review, the more reviews i get the faster i will be able to write! Sorry in advance for any spelling or grammar mistakes, if you see any please pick them out and tell me, well enough said, enjoy!

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**Chapter 1**

**Life**

The only thing she was certain of was that she was a monster, unnatural, unwanted. People have reminded her of it almost at every turn she took, with their glares and snide remarks. She was chosen to have this "honor" before she was even born. She had no choice; she was what she was now, no going back. How she wished she could just die, how she taunted her enemies to see if they could finally kill her, but none ever could. The years went by and slowly her heart turned harder and harder, losing most human traits and gaining some human traits that were unknown in most humans. But than he came and for once everything didn't seem so bad, but like all things there is always pro and cons….

_Kailow walked forward, testing the ground in front of her, she was eight years old. She slowly pulled herself up the crates to her left, the wood harsh against her hands, taking it one at a time. She was almost all the way on the top crate when the sound of footsteps reached her ears. Even through she could sense that they where miles away she tensed and lost her grip on the wooden crate, and her footing soon followed. She fell to the ground, a rush of air escaping her mouth, the world started to spin all around her, her head ached from the impact. _

_Kailow, or Kai for short, lay on the cold ground in till the world around her started to stay in one place. She slowly moved her body, aware that the source of the footsteps were around the corner now. _They travel fast,_ was all she comprehended now, that and her own fear, which was threatening to pull her into unconsciousness. A moan escaped her small delicate lips as she put pressure on her right arm. She sucked in a shallow breath of air, the air stayed, crisp in her lungs; she slowly put more pressure on her right arm and pushed with all her will as she stood up. Her body swayed as she got her balance back, her breathing coming in shallow swallows now. A small line of sweat was forming on her forehead, when she heard a grunt from the entrance of the alley, and also the only reasonable escape now that her arm was beat. Her heart stuttered in beats._

_Kai looked around to the face of the alley, her eyes wide with fear, her childish features, which were enhanced by the light from the moon, turned white, and her legs started to shake. She knew she couldn't escape pain now, pain was inevitable. She childishly reached for a pouch on her hip. With trembling hands she took out a kunai and held the weapon in front of her small body, in a protective way. Men, no, not just men shinobi, slowly started to fill the face of the alley, casting dark, dancing, shadows. The moon was blotted out of her sight by the many bodies. She slowly swallowed her throat dry with nerves and dirt. One of the men in front of her chuckled, a sinister smile playing along his lips, made only more eerie by the waned area of light from the rays of the moon. _

"_Justice" whispered someone who was completely in shadow. A few hums of agreements rouse around the assembled shinobi._

_Kai knew she was going to pay for her injustice of "being alive". She let a small whisper which formed the words, "What did I do know, may I ask?" She didn't expect an answer, but she stared in shock when she heard a hoarse whisper answer which was not tinted with hate and fear, but with compassion and reasoning. In short a sensible tone, not laced with the hatred many showed._

"_You have no where to go, your mother was dead at your own hands, your father has already past away, God bless his memory, and now you have troubled us with an inconvenience. You seem to understand you will never fit in, but still you try." A man stepped forward, or was he more of a kid? He couldn't be older than eighteen, maybe twenty, but his eyes said he had faced many hardships._

_Kai took a step forward and most stepped back in a natural response to her. She studied his eyes and his face trying to understand his tone, and in a quiet voice she asked, "Who may you be?"_

_He chuckled and stated, "For one who is mostly alone you are very polite and curious. I am the Third Hokage, now. I would like to place you under someone's care in till farther notice, please put the weapon down and come with me; there will be no blood shed or feud tonight."_

_There were loud gasps from the surrounding party; they probably hadn't known this idea of their Hokage. Some started to fidget, and step from one foot to the other. Murmurs of protest laced throughout the crowd of shinobi. _

_Kai just stared, to shocked to reply, a trickle of hope started to find its way into her heart, without her permission. Than the little bit of hope she had started to harvest vanished, tears filled her eyes, clouding her vision from the sudden lost. She whispered in a soft voice, "Who would want me though? And how am I certain you will not turn on me when I drop my weapon?" _

_Than, in a few strides the Hokage was right in front of her. Kai let out a gasp as he lifted her up into his arms, without even changing his breathing, her weapon fell forgotten onto the ground. The shinobi around the two let out yells of protest now, as she lay numbly in his arms, unsure what to do. He paid little attention to the onlookers as he cut throw them and out into the moonlit street. A few followed whispering to him words of protest and caution, and some stayed rooted to their spots in the mouth of the alley, to shocked to move._

Kailow woke up with a gasp, which filled her lungs with fresh air that was blowing in through the window. Even through it was cold, and there was dew on the little patch of grass outside the window, Kai had a sheet of cold sweat on her face. She tried to think if she had had a dream or nightmare, and her mind flipped over the dream, which had been a memory from her darker past, and her mind came to the conclusion that it had been a mixture, a nightmare which ended in a shocking dream. She slowly put her feet on the floor, testing her balance.

When Kai was sure it was safe to stand, she got up and walked over to the door that led to the bathroom. She turned the cold brass handle to the door, a small dark room awaited her, the only light in the bathroom was from the open door were she stood and from a small window, that was higher up than she was. Kai flicked a switch to her left and light burst from a center point on the ceiling of the bathroom. She walked over to the sink, and turned the faucet, she watched as the water ran into the white sink and than she splashed water on her face and on the nape of her neck.

Her eyes drifted up to the mirror has she turned off the faucet. In the mirror she saw a young girl, looking no older than thirteen, even through she was much older than that, her body just didn't change unless she wanted it to, it was one of her many "talents". The imposter of a thirteen year old in the mirror had soft, brunette waves of hair that caressed her face in a delicate way, giving the face a fragile touch, adding to the image were her light blue eyes, which were wide and wary from just waking, looking like undisturbed water.

That image in the mirror was what some people in her village had nightmares about, that monster. Kai knew she was different, but it still hurt to be feared by most. Only a handful of people would even say a word to her. She pulled down her black tang top, and checked her grey sweats for wrinkles. Today would be like any other day. The usual, people glaring at her, and whispering to each other, and the usual practice, when she would beat any opponent she had without even braking a sweat, and the pain she always felt in her heart, and most important the desire that she could be killed, that she could just disappear.

Kai changed her sweats with a light orange skirt with fishnet leggings, and added some gloves of similar material to her hands. She made sure that the gloves ended right before her elbow. When her apprentice satisfied her she turned towards the door that led out of her room, and grabbed her ninja tools. She let out a deep breath and she started walking forward, but as she opened and closed the door, with the silence only a shinobi could do, she felt different, like today might exactly be different that the monotone she was used to.


	2. In Deeper

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Naruto

Please review, even if it is a one word review it still helps to tell the writer how the story/poem is going! Please report to me if there are any spelling errors, because sometimes even spell check can't save me. Hope you enjoy and be patient with my updating speed!

**Chap. 2 **

**In Deeper**

Kailow was shocked; barely anyone was in the streets. No one was walking around, talking, or casting her angry glares. The few who were on the street stood in utter silence, clearly they were lost deep in thought. Kai started to get nerves, her pace sped up, and her breathing got slightly sharper. She couldn't help but keep looking over her shoulder, and the quiet was starting to unnerve her. She let out a deep breath as she caught sight of the academy. Kai even aloud herself a small smile when she heard the quiet murmur of excited voices. Her mind soon turned to the fact of how odd it was that no one was on the streets.

_What is going on today that is so important and crucial, _thought Kai. As she was lost in thought she hadn't noticed that she had picked up her pace, so it came as a shock when she arrived at the back of the academy. She slowly put her ear on the door, the rough wood marked her ear up from how uneven and worn down it had become. She knew that there were lots of people in there; she just wanted to hear what they said without alerting them to her presences. She gasped and hit her head on the frame of the door as she turned around and drew her kunai, someone was behind her.

"Nice that you could come," said a voice from the shadows.

Kai let out a sigh and she chuckled, only one person could ever sneak up on her. Her eyes flashed to where the voice had come from as a man stepped out into the open, his white cloak with red designs dragging on the ground. You could tell he was old by the wrinkles on his face, and how he held himself. Kai's arms relaxed as he came forward, her mind noted how old he was getting.

"I guess your wondering what is going on," grumbled the Third Hokage.

A quick smile flashed across Kai's face, she was always happy when he was around, she didn't know why, but he was the one that changed her life from dark to…. _semi-dark?_ No matter, he had still helped her when no one else would. Even though the years had passed, and he had aged and she hadn't, he was still kind, and wise, and he had a air of authority only few would dare to cross.

"Hm, well I guess that is a yes, so a boy is trying out to be a Genin….." his voice trailed off at the sudden look on Kai's face.

Kai's eyes narrowed and her teeth slightly bared, "What is the problem with that? Lots of people try to become Genin, every ninja does" said Kai with a sharp, dangerous ring. She frowned, and a slight growl escaped her lips as crossed her arms in front of her chest. She knew she had a bad temper, but she couldn't help it.

The Third Hokage sighed and said in a soft voice, "I know, as you probably have guessed, it is the Naruto kid who is trying to become a Genin, the one who has the Nine-tailed fox demon sealed inside him. That is what all the talk is about."

Kai didn't say anything. If she did her voice would have been laced with hatred, and she knew it would have made her feel bad for the Third to be upset by her words and tone that were not even directed at him. She bit her lip; it was hard not to get mad, people always tended to be narrow minded and she still remembered when she had wanted to become a Genin and the fight that happened.

The Third smiled at Kai's serious effort at trying to not talk. He looked her in the eyes and said, "I want you to watch his test, sit in the back and observe. Tell me what you think about him tomorrow." The Third than motioned towards the door and nodded his head, then, just like that, he left.

Kai let out a sigh has he walked away. Her lip was sour from her biting on it, and her hand was red from how hard she had been holding the forgotten kunai. She slipped the kunai back into its pouch and she turned to face the wood door that led to the Academy. She put her hand on the knob; it was cold and rusty from not being used often. As she turned it, the voices all stopped.

She blinked as a bright light hit her eyes. There where two people sitting at a desk in the front of the room, the source of the bright light was a dozen or so Konoha headbands on that were resting on the desk, casting bright lights everywhere. There was also a kid standing in the middle of the floor and there was five of him. He had black hair that stuck up at angles, and his outfit was blue with white pants, and he had the Uchiha crest on the back of his shirt. His expression was of dull, bored, superiority, and it didn't change at the new addition.

Kai flashed a bow of greeting towards where Iruka was sitting, and took a seat in the back of the room as the clones of the kid disappeared. Kai couldn't help but dislike the kid, the kid who was clearly Sasuke Uchiha, he had a kind of attitude that made Kai's skin itch with irritation. It didn't help Kai's irritation at the Uchiha when he just lazily took his headband from Iruka without much emotion at just passing to become a Genin. How she would have loved if it had been that easy for her. Kai had to bite her lip, that way she couldn't scream out what she thought of the Uchiha.

Kai suppressed a sigh of relief as he walked through the door and the next person was ushered in. When she saw the next kid that was going to take his test she giggled out loud, she couldn't help herself the boy who had just walked in had an orange outfit on and one of the stupidest looks on his face she had ever seen. She froze though mid laugh, as his eyes slid to her, with a defiant glint in them, as if they were daring her to keep laughing at him. Kai frowned as she saw the pain that he hid in his ice blue eyes, it looked like he was about to say something to Kai, but Iruka stopped him before he could.

Kai leaned back in her chair. _So, _she thought_, this is the Nine-tailed kid, Naruto _Kai's eyes glazed over as she watched the boy utterly fail his test_. _She tapped her finger on her leg and gazed out the window, _why had the Third wanted her to see this kid humiliate himself?_ Her mind ended up tossing around the cruelties of life.

_Kailow nervously shuffled from foot to foot, she was nine years old. She was waiting outside the testing room, waiting to see if she could test to become a Genin. She flinched at the raised voices that she could hear. Words like "Monster", "Could ruin everything", "Worthless", "Just a no good child who is too young", ran through Kai's mind. She shivered, she really hated being discussed, and these words she heard only made things worse. All of a sudden there was a deafening boom; it was so hard, cold, and powerful that it made Kai shrunk into a ball on the floor with her hands over her ears. She cried silent tears, they were fighting over if she could test, and what she just heard was still ringing in her head, and it probably would always remain with her. _

_It would have been easier to hear if anyone else had said it, but no, it had to be the Thirds voice that made her cover her ears and shrink into a little ball on the floor, he had said in a cruel and powerful voice "I am the Hokage, don't forget it! I say that I approve of her taking her test and you sass me? Who are you to reprimand my very wish? Kai will test and, even if it kills me, she will pass it!"_

_Kai put her arms around herself to keep the pain in, _why did they have to fight over her_? And just as fast as it started it ended, ended with the room being dead silent. No one talked or moved and it seemed like time stood still. Than Kai heard footsteps coming towards the door, she held her breath waiting to see who it was. She flinched when the door opened, _why was she so jumpy today_? She slowly let out her breath when she saw that it was the Third; she then frowned when she noticed the solemn face he had on. She slowly rested her head on her chest and she avoided the Thirds eyes, she felt horrible for making him get furious at his own villagers, who were like family to him. _

_Kai mouthed the word _Sorry_. _

_The Third sighed and put his hand under her chin. He forced her to look at him and he stated "You have nothing to be sorry for, and you will be testing to be a Genin, sorry but I don't want any ifs or buts about it." _

_He than moved his hand to her shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze as a smile appeared on his face, a smile that looked only slightly forced, a kind of mask that was supposed to make Kai feel better. It didn't work, if anything it made her feel worse. Seeing an almost dead cause the Third then looked back to the room that he had left and he sighed, it was a very mournful sound. He then turned back to face Kai._

"_How about tomorrow you test? Let's just go." The Third than looked expectantly at Kai, when she neither moved, or showed signs of moving he said, "I said let's go, now don't keep me waiting... this is pointless," the Third sighed and, as he had done about a few years previous, he picked her up and carried her out of the building. _

_Kai was to numb to object to being carried like a little kid. Her mind was telling her that the Third shouldn't have to do this for her; it should be no problem about someone of her, supposedly, skill to become a Genin. Kai knew that if she had been someone else than it would be unquestionable, she hated feeling like a freak, different, hated. She hated feeling like she was some horrible monster, and she couldn't help it, she cried for the second time today._


End file.
